bubble of thoughts

it is tuesday..
a very hot and humid day
feel nauseous after my breads and milo for lunch
wonder if my tummy or intestines
are sick or feeling out of order

somehow i enjoy the..
stillness, peacefulness and quietness
of evenings
sort of gives me a 'my' time in my head

i appreciate the fact that i am living
i appreciate the
feel of wind brushing past me
the warmth of the sun (definitely not in singapore)
the way light sparkles on top of water
tuning into all the little things that make living beautiful
just my way of appreciation for life's
everyday luxuries

most people probably do not know
but relationships be it family, love or friendships
are everything to me
the greatest wealth is found in the company that i keep
material things are nice to have
but close friends and family are must haves
i feel that this is where the true treasure lies
and will do whatever i have to do to acquire and keep the riches

yes i can be clingy :)
not to the extent that i stalk people
and start acting like some undercover agent
but more in a 'i want you to feel loved' kind of way

sometimes i feel like a lost soul
without a solid friend or two
it seems difficult for me to form
solid, lasting friendships
tend to drift from people to people
situation to situation
without an anchor (really good friends)

am more prone to escapism and addictions
for example like being
addictive to food, shopping, gaming, internet, tv, reading and music

a little secret about me
out of sight is not out of mind
as my head will replay the situations and scenarios
in my mind over and over again
i can be analytical, self-critical and obsessive
though i might have a 'cold-ish' exterior
but i do give much thought to anyone or anything
that has made an impact on me
but then again if no impact was made
things can be staring right in my face
and be practically invisible to me
sort of like i only decide who are the
important and relevant characters
in my little adventure book in my head

if you do know me or have spoken to me before
you will notice that i avoid eye contact at times on purpose
with whomever i am interacting with
it is not that i am being rude or uninterested

oh well..
brain is dead
gonna sign off and continue
tomorrow on part 2