bubble of thoughts (part 2)

one of my dream honeymoon/holiday destinatio: Bora Bora :)

it feels like some time
since the rain poured with dark clouds

over the office windows
which i enjoyed if i am indoors

weird to be seeing myself with brownish black hair
yes..
does not seem to be like me at all
now i miss my fiery red hair

morning has been productive so far
managed to clear some work
before working on my monthly reports
and researching and writing of article
yes...
me - writing health article for the company
i hope i get some idea of what to write
after reading allen carr's book
'easy way to stop smoking'

and back to yesterday's
unfinished business

i often wonder
why do i avoid eye contact
when i converse with someone
maybe it is because of not wanting
to establish a connection with some people
it feels like peering into what they see
kind of exhausting sometimes

you probably want to stay far far away from me
when i am angry
until the emotions die down
i would say i am pretty easy-going and tolerant
and it takes quite a fair bit to push my buttons
or to step on the 'landmines' like minesweeper
but once you do
beware of me and watch out
the sarcasm in me will sting you
the most usual phenomenon that appears when that happens
according to reliable sources (friends and family)
i turn ice cold and exude a very strong and angry energy
which i and bon mama term it as 'the aura'
one that hangs so thick in the air
that it is almost palpable
it can literally be felt by all in that moment
and may very well make everyone around
feel squeamish or uncomfortable
yes do not be surprised - that is me
i may not be vindictive
but i can be subtle and sneaky
as i believe that there is such a thing called
karma

do you know that..i..
appreciate good sense of humor as laughter puts me at ease
like spacing out in another world (nothing supernatural really)
have wicked mood swings sometimes
put on my best behavior when in front of meet-the-parents
am indecisive
can be very sensitive and can burst into tears at the drop of dime
can be friends with many different kinds of people
like the comfortable silence
don't really like confrontation, but can be fiercer than anyone expects when backed into a wall
forgive but never forget when people try to take advantage
am usually pretty happy to go-with-the-flow for most things
constantly have 100 things in my head
prefer to be polite and quiet when in new situation to assess 'vibe'
am closed-off to people i don't know but am actually silly and playful
love to travel - despite the back-breaking flights
love sharing secrets with closest friends
adjust myself and interactions based on environment to reflect people around me
enjoy trying out new activities
am not a fan of crowded or busy places
jump in and out of situations quickly
am self-aware but don't really trust my own assessment sometimes

tiring tiring wed
neck is about to come off!
wish i could play a little of my phoenix wright now
and i still have to remember my research on
starting the process to go to vancouver too
sigh..
tons of stuff to do
simply insufficient energy and time